Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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