How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
