Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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