your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wish you could order shots online.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
