I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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