just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
