Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
