I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i love accidental penises.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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