She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
