lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
