"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
