Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize