Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
