It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
