Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
