were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
