Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
someone get that fucking seahorse.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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