You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
