i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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