he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
