How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My feet surprised me
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
