pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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