i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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