Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Michael Bay diarrhea
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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