It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The Olympian is in my bed
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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