Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
