So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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