Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
