Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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