I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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