Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
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