GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
