dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She's the barista slut.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
