so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize