The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
