Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
