Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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