I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
