Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
