i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
