OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
