to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
