I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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