She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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