That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
