im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
