I wanna bring you to show and tell
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
