my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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