No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
