Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
