Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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