Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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