I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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