yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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